Lockdown in Italy, 24 March 2020

Originally posted on my Facebook page on 24 March

"The eyes are not responsible when the mind does the seeing." Publilius Syrus

One of the things I've noticed most about myself over the last 6 weeks is how many times my view of reality has changed. Just when I'd finally think I had made sense of it all and understood what was happening, that picture would dissolve right in front of my eyes and I had to search for a new one. 

My eyes had been seeing the images from China and my voice had been talking about how easily this could move through the world. But my mind wanted to filter all that through my old reality. The future that was about to unfold simply didn’t fit into that picture and I was constantly in catch-up mode. 

I was being shown the future, a rare glimpse into the life that was about to unfold. And then it did. 

Closures of borders have become closures of regions, then closures of towns, then closures of suburbs. Ever-decreasing circles that are likely to define my physical world for a long time to come. 

Action that was to run for 2 weeks will expand to 3 months, consume the next 6 months, and redefine our priorities for at least the next year, and probably much longer.

A "return to normal" has been casually referred to, then seriously reconsidered, and now completely discarded.

I remember about 2-3 weeks into this strange journey of reshaping my sense of reality, then reshaping it all again, then again, then again, I had a moment. Maybe it was the tension, the wondering, the confusion, the fatigue. I didn't really think it had got to me because I only felt those things in the tiniest moments, but it builds up. You wouldn't be human if you didn't cry, or walk in circles, or freak out just a bit. But it will be ok.

I look back now and I can hardly recognise myself. In the last two weeks I’ve finally found my footing, not on solid ground, but on these shifting sands that now begin to feel familiar. I now see with my eyes AND with my mind, and they keep me connected with what is happening now, and prepare me for what is to come.

I wonder if there is anything I could have said to the person I was 6 weeks ago that would have helped her to see and understand the future she was being shown. If you want to ask yourself the same question, take the time to watch this short video from Italy where people try to tell their past self what is about to happen.

Because you are being shown the future.